I am in high school, and enjoy going out with a bunch of friends to do things. There was a girl that just moved into our ward. Her family only joined the church a couple of years ago, and you can totally tell because of the way she dresses. It's just a little immodest. I really like her, in a friend and in a maybe more than a friend way, and she's gone out with us before, but only as other guys' date. I want to ask her out, but I wouldn't want to be on a date with someone who was dressed immodestly. Then again I know she's new to the church so I don't want to be judgmental.
Sincerely,
High School Hunk
Peter: Hunk, I'm laughing right now trying to write that, I think your decision is admirable, however, you wouldn't want the other girls in your ward and stake to get the impression that dressing the way your friend does will help them get a date. Ask your friend out, but tell her that you already think she's so beautiful that you want to be able to focus on other things when you go out, without distractions, so maybe she could wear something that would help you out.
Molly: Please, never say that to her. Especially as a man. Yes modesty is important, but it's important as a sign of respect between a woman and herself. Your desire to not be seen with someone who you think isn't modest enough reeks of a desire to control women and make them cover up. Trust me she will learn about the reasons for modesty eventually from more appropriate sources.
Peter: I know that somehow boys are evil for not being able to control their sexual thoughts and that suggesting that women could help out a little bit is somehow hopelessly sexist, yet it's also the truth. If Hunk is worried about modesty that should be something that should be commended not shamed.
Molly: If he was worried about his own modesty then I would commend him but "Hunk" doesn't seem worried about that he seems worried about what other people are going to think about him if they see him with a woman that doesn't fit his requirements for modesty, that's a problem.
Peter: These aren't his requirements for modesty, they are widely accepted standards that he hears in youth, Sacrament, and in the Strength of Youth pamphlet, and he wants to encourage better behavior.
Molly: Well the way a woman wants to treat her body is none of his business and he shouldn't think that just because he wants to take her on a date, he has the right to dictate to her how to treat it.
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