Was Abinadi a Good Missionary?

Dear Peter and Molly,
I know that sometimes the two of you like to take off the wall scripture questions, well I have one for you. Do we need to regard Book of Mormon prophets as good at what they do? I recently read the story of Abinadi, and thought that his missionary approach was rather forceful. He never tried to help King Noah change his perspective, he basically just kept telling him and his priests they were sinners. We're taught that we should try and build relationships, and build on common ground. Could the fact that Abinadi's mission had such limited effect actually be read as a cautionary tale in the scriptures, or would this reading be off the mark?
Sincerely,
Amateur Scriptorian

Peter: Amateur, first things first only an apostle has the authority to give a definitive interpretation of the scriptures, but you're right Molly and I do enjoy having a nice conversation to help us all understand the scriptures better, but it can only be a conversation. I think that you're missing the point of Abinadi's story. First, his message came from the Lord, and so clearly there was a reason why he needed to be so authoritative. Second, the reason is pretty clear, Abinadi's mission converted Alma, who ended up being the High Priest, and his son played a major role in converting thousands of individuals. The work of the Lord could not have been accomplished without Abinadi preaching to Alma.

Molly: We should be hesitant to criticize anyone who gave their life for the work of the Lord, but that doesn't mean we can't learn lessons from their life. Peter's interpretation requires that we assume another approach wouldn't have appealed to Alma as well as others. We see a good example when several years later Ammon takes a different missionary approach than Aaron. Aaron's approach is more direct like Abinadi, and while he has much success, it doesn't match the impact that Ammon had when he took an approach more focussed on service to others.

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Tell Her to Dress Modestly?

Dear Molly & Peter,

I am in high school, and enjoy going out with a bunch of friends to do things. There was a girl that just moved into our ward. Her family only joined the church a couple of years ago, and you can totally tell because of the way she dresses. It's just a little immodest. I really like her, in a friend and in a maybe more than a friend way, and she's gone out with us before, but only as other guys' date. I want to ask her out, but I wouldn't want to be on a date with someone who was dressed immodestly. Then again I know she's new to the church so I don't want to be judgmental.

Sincerely,

High School Hunk

Peter: Hunk, I'm laughing right now trying to write that, I think your decision is admirable, however, you wouldn't want the other girls in your ward and stake to get the impression that dressing the way your friend does will help them get a date. Ask your friend out, but tell her that you already think she's so beautiful that you want to be able to focus on other things when you go out, without distractions, so maybe she could wear something that would help you out.

Molly: Please, never say that to her. Especially as a man. Yes modesty is important, but it's important as a sign of respect between a woman and herself. Your desire to not be seen with someone who you think isn't modest enough reeks of a desire to control women and make them cover up. Trust me she will learn about the reasons for modesty eventually from more appropriate sources.

Peter: I know that somehow boys are evil for not being able to control their sexual thoughts and that suggesting that women could help out a little bit is somehow hopelessly sexist, yet it's also the truth. If Hunk is worried about modesty that should be something that should be commended not shamed.

Molly: If he was worried about his own modesty then I would commend him but "Hunk" doesn't seem worried about that he seems worried about what other people are going to think about him if they see him with a woman that doesn't fit his requirements for modesty, that's a problem.

Peter: These aren't his requirements for modesty, they are widely accepted standards that he hears in youth, Sacrament, and in the Strength of Youth pamphlet, and he wants to encourage better behavior.

Molly: Well the way a woman wants to treat her body is none of his business and he shouldn't think that just because he wants to take her on a date, he has the right to dictate to her how to treat it.

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Should She Tell a Priest to Cut His Hair?

Dear Peter and Molly,

There is a Priest in my ward and everyone seems to love him, but apparently no one has bothered to mention to him that priesthood holders need to look the part. His hair is now down to his shoulders. I know that some parents want to pick their battles, and many think that your hair length, and by default how you present yourself to the world isn't important enough to talk about, but at least they should know that there are consequences for looking like a slob, mainly that you can't represent the Lord in blessing the Sacrament. The other thing is that he is working with food, and he doesn't put his hair back into a pony tail, or wear a hair net or anything. Who should I talk to? It seems like the Bishop would already know, should I tell him directly how uncomfortable he makes the sacrament, or should I talk to his parents?

Sincerely,

Grossed Out

Peter: GO, thanks for writing. I think your point that those who are blessing and passing the Sacrament should understand that they are both representing the Lord and handling food, and should look and behave accordingly is an important one, and if one of them was writing to me I would be sure to mention it to them. But you wrote to me, and I think to you I'd have to answer don't talk to anyone.

Molly: Amen. I certainly stand with you in expecting our priesthood holders to live up to the standards that they say they do, but unlike the other letter we posted today, the priest in your ward has never made a covenant to keep his hair short. You could say that by taking the name of Christ upon himself looking his best was implied, but looking your best and looking like a conservative mainstream Mormon are not always the same thing.

Peter: In fact maybe he's just trying to look more like the Savior when he blessed the first sacrament. Seriously, though, there are many legitimate reasons for him to keep his hair long. He could be growing it out to perform in a play, he could have sensitive skin and cutting his hair could be very painful.

Molly: He could be growing it out for Locks of Love.

Peter: Even if none of those things are true, we can't look for reasons to try and disqualify the priests, or else we'll find them. That age in life is hard enough. If growing his hair out is the way he is funneling all his rebellious tendencies, then more power to him.

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