Dear Peter and Molly,
I'm in junior high, and am the youngest of 4 girls. All of them still live at home, and they all love going shopping with my mom. Up until this year I was usually able to avoid it, because I was a little kid, but now that I'm getting older, it seems like when they are going to get clothes, they are insistent that I come. When I haven't, they've always gotten me something while they were out. I know they think it's nice, but they have really girly styles, and it's just not my favorite. How can I tell them, thanks, I know you're trying to be nice, but I don't like shopping, and I don't like these clothes.
Thanks,
Tom
Molly: Dear Tom, I can understand where you're coming from, if everyone else in your family has similar interests, it can be overwhelming when you don't. I think it's really mature of you to recognize that they are trying to be nice, by getting you clothes. The problem is, you do have to get new clothes sometimes, and if you don't like what they pick out, you'll have to pick out your own. Ask them to go shopping some day, and then show them the kinds of styles that you like. They'll appreciate you opening up to their interest, and since it will be your shopping trip, you won't have to get dragged around all day.
Peter: The kindest thing you can do is tell them you don't like the clothes. Clothes aren't cheap, and it's a pity to buy them if they won't be used. So be upfront with them, and then go find your dad, he'd probably love to have someone in the family that doesn't love going shopping all day long.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Should She Move Back Home After College?
Dear Peter and Molly,
I am graduating in a couple of months. I know it probably sounds pathetic, but I have no idea what to do. I know the prophets have always said to get an education, so I was very dilligent in getting an education, but they never said anything about being diligent in starting a career. Part of me just wants to move back home with my parents, but I would feel so pathetic if I do. I don't even know where to start otherwise. I was hoping I could be a mother by this point in my life so my post college plans would be easy. Any advice?
Thanks,
Aimless at the I
Molly: Aimless, most colleges will have a career and advising center. I would start by setting up an appointment to go and talk to a counselor. Colleges are experts in helping people like you know what to do next. Don't worry about starting this late, most jobs won't be hiring until a month or so before you graduate in any case, so you're actually right on schedule.
Peter: Don't go back home. I know it feels safe and secure, but when was the last time safe and secure helped you move on with your life. If you want to move back to your home town, then go ahead, but strike out on your own, you've figured out how to live on your own for at least four years, so now do it outside the safety of college. Getting a job is as easy as walking into a place you want to work and asking for one.
Molly: Peter, I think your advise is just a little unrealistic. College graduates right now are not just walking into places and getting jobs, and without a job, striking out on your own isn't exactly a pretty looking option. Especially if Aimless is starting with some student loan debt, which will start to be due here pretty soon.
Peter: Then go to graduate school, if you can't find work immediately. Molly your first advise was good, go do something, get out of your bubble and start asking questions, that's how you move on with your life.
Molly: Just don't ignore the support system you have if it doesn't work out.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
I am graduating in a couple of months. I know it probably sounds pathetic, but I have no idea what to do. I know the prophets have always said to get an education, so I was very dilligent in getting an education, but they never said anything about being diligent in starting a career. Part of me just wants to move back home with my parents, but I would feel so pathetic if I do. I don't even know where to start otherwise. I was hoping I could be a mother by this point in my life so my post college plans would be easy. Any advice?
Thanks,
Aimless at the I
Molly: Aimless, most colleges will have a career and advising center. I would start by setting up an appointment to go and talk to a counselor. Colleges are experts in helping people like you know what to do next. Don't worry about starting this late, most jobs won't be hiring until a month or so before you graduate in any case, so you're actually right on schedule.
Peter: Don't go back home. I know it feels safe and secure, but when was the last time safe and secure helped you move on with your life. If you want to move back to your home town, then go ahead, but strike out on your own, you've figured out how to live on your own for at least four years, so now do it outside the safety of college. Getting a job is as easy as walking into a place you want to work and asking for one.
Molly: Peter, I think your advise is just a little unrealistic. College graduates right now are not just walking into places and getting jobs, and without a job, striking out on your own isn't exactly a pretty looking option. Especially if Aimless is starting with some student loan debt, which will start to be due here pretty soon.
Peter: Then go to graduate school, if you can't find work immediately. Molly your first advise was good, go do something, get out of your bubble and start asking questions, that's how you move on with your life.
Molly: Just don't ignore the support system you have if it doesn't work out.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Should He Stop Talking About the Church at Work?
Peter and Molly,
I'm in kind of a weird situation. I grew up without a lot of members of the church, and so whenever I would talk about the church it was almost a missionary situation. Then I went to school at a church school, and so whenever I'd talk about the church, everyone was a member. Well, a bunch of us at school all got internships at the same company in a different state. We're all in the same single's ward, and while we're at work, we enjoy spending time together, and we talk about stuff like the BYU game, but also the ward, bishops, callings, general conference. It really is amazing how much of our conversations others wouldn't get. There are some other interns, and we've been friendly to them, but they never really fit in. I'd like to include them, but I also don't want to have to feel like I can't talk about the church anymore. Is there a happy middle ground?
Sincerely,
All Greek to Them
Molly: Greek, I'm glad that you can see outside of your bubble to how others are perceiving you. Invite them to participate with you guys in specific things, and you'll be surprised how fast they catch on. In fact often times, this is an important step in missionary work. If they were to ever come to church, they wouldn't feel so confused by our lingo. It kind of reminds me of the show Lost. I had some friends who loved the show, and so when they started talking about it I checked out, but eventually I demanded they tell me what the heck they were talking about, and after a surprisingly short amount of time, I was totally caught up, and a huge fan.
Peter: For the most part I agree with Molly, but if you want them to feel comfortable joining you for lunch or after work basketball or whatever, you do have to learn some translations. Ward=Congregation. Sacrament Meeting=The Services. So on, you can get the clue. By speaking in a language everyone can understand, you can talk about the church without leaving them out.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
I'm in kind of a weird situation. I grew up without a lot of members of the church, and so whenever I would talk about the church it was almost a missionary situation. Then I went to school at a church school, and so whenever I'd talk about the church, everyone was a member. Well, a bunch of us at school all got internships at the same company in a different state. We're all in the same single's ward, and while we're at work, we enjoy spending time together, and we talk about stuff like the BYU game, but also the ward, bishops, callings, general conference. It really is amazing how much of our conversations others wouldn't get. There are some other interns, and we've been friendly to them, but they never really fit in. I'd like to include them, but I also don't want to have to feel like I can't talk about the church anymore. Is there a happy middle ground?
Sincerely,
All Greek to Them
Molly: Greek, I'm glad that you can see outside of your bubble to how others are perceiving you. Invite them to participate with you guys in specific things, and you'll be surprised how fast they catch on. In fact often times, this is an important step in missionary work. If they were to ever come to church, they wouldn't feel so confused by our lingo. It kind of reminds me of the show Lost. I had some friends who loved the show, and so when they started talking about it I checked out, but eventually I demanded they tell me what the heck they were talking about, and after a surprisingly short amount of time, I was totally caught up, and a huge fan.
Peter: For the most part I agree with Molly, but if you want them to feel comfortable joining you for lunch or after work basketball or whatever, you do have to learn some translations. Ward=Congregation. Sacrament Meeting=The Services. So on, you can get the clue. By speaking in a language everyone can understand, you can talk about the church without leaving them out.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
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