Dear Peter and Molly,
My husband recently left his job to start his own business. He's been looking for suppliers, and has been back in the part of town where he used to work. Well one day, he told me that he had lunch with an old female coworker of his. She had called him, and said no one had lunch with her anymore, and so he invited her out. Thinking back, he did look awfully nice before he left that day, and he had just cleaned out his car. What gets me is that he has been trying to get us to go out less because money's so tight. He insists it was just an innocent lunch, and she paid for herself. Am I overreacting, or is this like cheating?
Signed,
Holding to my Man
Molly: Holding, I don't know what your husband's intention was, and neither do you, so you should probably take him at his word. He was going out for lunch anyway, maintaining old work contacts, is just good networking. The other details you've probably only thought of because it helps confirm your suspicions.
Peter: A married man going out to lunch with a woman, not his wife, alone, is never a good idea. It probably was innocent, but it doesn't matter, it's an issue that just crosses the line, you don't want him to be in that situation. Don't accuse him of cheating, but explain to him that you don't want him to be in situations like that.
Molly: It's that attitude that will prevent people like Holding's husband's friend from getting ahead in business. If any married man shuns her. Business is co-ed now, and we have to deal with that reality. Trying to super impose sex onto any situation is not a healthy perspective.
Peter: Well it is a safe perspective, and if he wanted a work meeting, maybe there would have been another person or two he could have invited along to lunch.
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