How to Turn Down Dates

Dear Peter and Molly,
So I'm sure my problem is one that a lot of girls would love, but it's still a problem and I hope you'll help. I get asked out a lot, by really weird people, some of them are creepy, and some of them are just not really my type. I'm not a teenager anymore, and so I don't want to go out with people when it will be a waste of both our times. But when I tell them that I'm not interested they never seem to get a clue. How can I turn them down without being cruel?

Signed,
Too Many Dates

Peter: Too Many, well you basically have two options. You can either go out with them, and honestly no matter how old you are unless you're worried about your safety I can't think of much reason not to, or you can tell them no thanks. You say you tell them you're not interested, and maybe you use those exact words, but that's not saying you won't go out with them, it's just saying, "make me interested."

Molly: You don't have to go out with anyone you don't want to, for whatever reason you don't want to. Some guys are a little dense, though mostly I blame the dating game, where so many people play hard to get. Then when you actually don't want to be gotten, they still think you're playing. My sister was an expert at turning people down firmly and amusingly. She once had a guy approach her and ask how many times she'd been asked out that night, she said, "Thankfully none, I'm not even close to attracted to anyone in the whole room." On another occasion a guy started a conversation and when he was done he wrote his phone number down and told her to call him, she looked at him handed it back and said, "No thanks, I won't be needing this." They may have been a little mean, but she certainly didn't have guys chasing after her.

Peter: Too Many, just don't worry about the guys' feelings. I promise you that dating you is not so important to them that if you turn them down you'll ruin their life. So don't worry about letting them down easy, just let them down clearly. Or you know say yes, not the worst thing in the world.

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