Molly and Peter,
So, okay, I just moved to school. I grew up in the Northeast, and now I'm at a super Mormon school. Mostly I like it, but everyone hugs here it seems, like my roommate's boyfriend brought his roommate over, and he started going around the room hugging everybody. So I put my hands up kinda by my neck, to sort of nicely say, hey don't hug me random strange guy, but he goes for it anyway. This is not the only time, my roommates all know by now I'm not touchy feely, but how do I tell a random stranger don't you dare lay your nasty fingers on me without, you know, hurting someones feelings.
Thanks,
Handshakes for Me
Molly: Handshakes, you should never have to be touched when you don't want to be. While I'm sure everyone means well, a simple "None for me thanks, should give everyone a clue."
Peter: Perhaps even more effective would be to stick your hand out for a handshake. My advice, however, would be to put up with the uncomfortable hugs, you may not like them, but if you come across as stand offish to everyone who hugs when you meat, you may have a hard time making friends.
Molly: People who care more about seeming friendly than about personal space and boundaries are probably not worth being friends with anyway.
Peter: These aren't brutish people, they just like giving hugs. Think of it like going to France, and getting pecked on the cheek. I don't think I'd like it, but I'd put up with it because it is the culture.
Molly: But a trip to France for a couple weeks, and your new home for four years are different situations. You've done a good job teaching your roommates about your boundaries, hopefully these ideas will help you do the same with people you meet.
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