Friendship with an Opposite Sex Widower

Dear Peter and Molly,
I'm a little bit older, but you're so good about giving advice for social situations, I thought you could help anyway. I'm a married woman, and have a couple that have long been friends of my husband and me. The wife of the couple recently passed away. I have much more time than my husband and would like to reach out as a friend to the widower, by calling on a regular basis. I do not, however, want to behave improperly as I do still have a husband.
Thank you,
Friendly in Texas.

Molly: Dear Friendly, I think that your concern for respecting your husband is commendable, however, I feel that the only thing you need to do to make sure the relationship is appropriate is to get your husband's blessing first, as long as he is comfortable with the nature of the relationship you have nothing to worry about.

Peter: I disagree, I feel like an inappropriate relationship could develop out of many situations. Friendly, you don't mention how close in age you are to the widower. If he is more a grandfather figure, you can probably go ahead without hesitation. If the ages are close enough that a romantic pairing wouldn't be unforeseeable, then I think you need to try a different approach then regular calls. Your instinct to be a friend at this difficult time is good, however, express it by having him out on the town with both you and your husband. Make sure the ward is aware of his needs so that the youth could plan a trip to give him some company.

Molly: When we let what other people are worrying about stop us from being a good neighbor, we've gone too far. Peter's ideas are good as supplements, but losing a spouse is a difficult time, and the regular calls you're suggesting could help catch a problem and care for it before it becomes too large, that the irregular night out just couldn't.

Peter: But our commitment to our spouse is greater than our commitment to be friendly, and Friendly should be wary of allowing that line to be crossed.

Molly: But calling a widower is not a violation of marriage covenants.

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