Peter and Molly,
I met my fiance at school, and absolutely fell in love with him. When he took me home to meet his parents I was blown away to discover that he came from a very well to do background. He proposed, and we are now making wedding plans, but he approached me the other day saying his Dad wanted me to sign a prenuptial agreement before the wedding! I'm not totally naive, and know that at the end of a long life you want to protect yourself from someone who just wants your money, but we're getting into this for a lifetime commitment, I'm just not sure what the point would be. Do Mormons even do prenups? It seems so skeezy to me.
Sincerely,
Prenuptial Bride
Peter: Dear Prenup, the question isn't so much that he's making you sign one, which as you point out can be understandable it's asking the question, why? What does he have that he doesn't want to share? Why doesn't he want to share it? How worried is he about the relationship? It's certainly not a relationship breaker, but it should raise some red flags you need to answer.
Molly: My honest guess, and that's all it is, is that he is a trust fund baby, and your fiance's dad is worried you found out about it. If you're in the marriage for the long term, then you probably have nothing to worry about, I agree with Peter that you should have a conversation about it, though I disagree that this is a big red flag. For many wealthy people this is just a standard procedure. Do, however, get an independent lawyer to look at the agreement for you. While I know you love your fiance, and don't believe he would do anything to hurt you, a prenuptial agreement could include any kind of language and is a binding contract. Don't jump into it blindly.
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I agree with Molly, that's a very wise advice she gave. It's not about not about something that he doesn’t want to share. Place yourself in the shoes of the parents, you, too, would want to protect what you worked hard to earn for your children, right? But you guys should definitely need to talk about it, and you too should get yourself a lawyer before signing anything.
ReplyDeleteToccara Mclachlan
I'm with Molly's side too! Don't make a big deal out of it, but don't take it lightly either. Perhaps, there are really rightful reasons as to why his Dad want you to sign it. But don't sign it right away; see the document and seek legal advice to make sure you are fully aware of what you're getting into.
ReplyDeleteFerdinand Draper