I think my friend's fiancee lied about serving a mission.

Peter and Molly,
Okay, so I have a really good friend, she's my roommate and she just got engaged to this guy. Now, I've kind of had a bad feeling about this guy for a while, but you know kept quiet since I didn't know anything. He plays the strapping Mormon guy part really well. Says he went on a mission to Argentina, talks about being an Eagle scout, really clean story, k? And so I'm at school, and I see him, but he doesn't see me. So I walk up to say hi. And he's talking to some friends eating lunch. They're talking about a mission, and complaining because girls only go out with RMs, so the guy says, well I told my gf I went problem solved. I couldn't believe it! I just left. But now I'm worried, I'm not sure it was him because I didn't end up going up to him, and I was kind of behind his head. But it sounded like him, and looked like him when I went up. Maybe he was lying to his friends, but. I don't know. Should I tell my friend what I heard?
Thanks,
Got a Little Secret

Secret, that's a lot of ifs and maybes, but from where I'm sitting, it sounds like you're trying to find a way not to tell your friend. You're like 99% sure it was this guy, and your friend deserves to know. Don't accuse, just say what happened, then leave it up to her. 

Peter's right about you making excuses. Where I differ is where he thinks you should just tell your friend and let it go. There's no way you can absolutely know the truth, but don't just drop this on her. Tell her you think she should figure this out. Guys can be very deceptive, and without you she could easily be swept back into his charms.

Being a supportive friend is fine, but even if he was lying about a mission doesn't mean the relationship is dead, so you have to give her enough leeway to stay if she wants to. You don't get to decide that she's breaking up.

Lying about a mission is a big breach of trust, and if she stays with him it's more likely because he managed to weasel his way around, than that they actually came to a new place in their relationship.



If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook