How to Include Step Kids at the Wedding

Dear Peter and Molly,
My fiancee and I are both starting our second marriages. We're still reasonable young (at least I like to think so) and while I have no children, he has three. My fiancee has joint custody of the children, and so they will be a regular and important part of our family. I just wasn't sure how to include them in the wedding. They can't see the sealing, and it seems a little weird for me to ask his daughters to be my bridesmaids (they're 8 and 10) and of course there's no real role for a flower girl or ring bearer. Do you have any suggestions for how to tastefully include them?

Thank you,
Step Bride

Dear Step Bride, integrating others into the wedding is definitely different in LDS weddings since there are so few traditions that require other people. The upside, however, is that you can use them however you like. There are lots of jobs that you could create for them like someone to welcome people at the reception, someone to accept gifts, and depending on how your reception is being organized there may be many other places you could plug in a child and have them feel needed. In addition since being called a bridesmaid is largely just an honorific, there would be no harm done in giving the little girls the title.

My only concern is that the mother of these girl's may be hesitant to let them participate to a large degree in the wedding of her ex husband. I completely agree with Molly that those could be good ideas, but if their mother doesn't want to spend the time making sure they fulfill their assignments (because let's be honest at 8 and 10, it's not like they can drive themselves there) then don't insist. Ten year old's don't have particularly developed social sensibilities to offend.

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