Dear Peter and Molly,
I'm 13, and my problem is that my parents just don't seem to have any faith in me. I've always loved drawing, since before I was in kindergarten. I'm pretty good, and I always enjoy the art classes I've gotten to take at school. The problem is that when my mom and dad ask me what I want to be when I grow up, and I tell them I want to be an animator, they say that's not a realistic goal, and that I should start creating some interests that may be more practical. It hurts that they don't believe in me, and I don't like anything else. What should I do?
Thanks,
Future Artist.
Molly: Artist, don't give up your dream of being an artist, but if your parents are telling you to start creating some back up plans there's probably a good reason. It's hard when you're young to be able to honestly evaluate your talents, and even you only describe yourself as "pretty" good. It's a hard field to break into, so having some other ways you can go would be smart.
Peter: My number one advise is to keep your grades up. You don't have to pick a career in the 8th grade. If you like art pursue art, and pursue it well, you'll find other interests as you grow older. Even though working for an animation studio may be really hard work to get into, there are lots of other fields for artists, such as graphical design or advertising that are good paying and very practical.
Molly: When I was 12, my mother told me that I was not going to be a professional ballerina, and it was the kindest thing she ever did. I loved dancing, and she had put me through 8 years of classes, and I was pretty good, but not great. She said I could always do it for fun. It helped me see my future in realistic terms based on my actual talents. Not knowing Artist, I can't tell him if he has a real chance, but his parents who love him the most are telling him to move on, maybe it's good advice.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Does Her Son Play Too Many Video Games?
Peter and Molly,
I have a teenage son who loves playing video games. He gets average grades, and is generally a responsive and good son, but I want him to pursue other more interesting interests. I wish he would read, or get into sports, or theater, or anything. It just seems like video games are such a waste of time. The trouble is that when I try and bring up the subject he gets defensive, and asks what the difference is between his hobby and others that I suggest. He usually plays with friends, and there are potential careers in video games. Something just doesn't feel right, but I'm not sure what to tell him. Am I overreacting, or is there a reason I'm missing?
Thanks,
Virtually Jinxed
Molly: Virtually, there are lots of reasons to avoid video games. It is clear that there is a danger in the depth of their artificial worlds, and pulling people out of real life. They are inactive, and the career opportunities are limited. The limited personal interactions that do occur, do not help build social skills. In addition the skills that are built, moving fingers quickly, understanding complex mythologies, etc. don't translate well to real life.
Peter: Jinxed, you never mentioned how much time that your son spends on video games, because video games are primarily relaxation. Unlike TV or movies however, video games are not completely sedentary relaxation. In fact unlike TV, playing more video games shows no correlation with increased chance for obesity. While chances are that your son won't get a job in video games, chances are if he joins drama, he's not going to become an actor, and joining the football team does not mean he's going to make it in the NFL, but those activities do build useful life skills, but so do video games: skills like like quick reaction times, or problem solving. Even the military is using video games for training. I can't tell if you're overreacting, but the argument you may be missing is that there are very few hobbies that should take up all of your free time, and if that's what happening with your son, maybe he just needs to diversify.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
I have a teenage son who loves playing video games. He gets average grades, and is generally a responsive and good son, but I want him to pursue other more interesting interests. I wish he would read, or get into sports, or theater, or anything. It just seems like video games are such a waste of time. The trouble is that when I try and bring up the subject he gets defensive, and asks what the difference is between his hobby and others that I suggest. He usually plays with friends, and there are potential careers in video games. Something just doesn't feel right, but I'm not sure what to tell him. Am I overreacting, or is there a reason I'm missing?
Thanks,
Virtually Jinxed
Molly: Virtually, there are lots of reasons to avoid video games. It is clear that there is a danger in the depth of their artificial worlds, and pulling people out of real life. They are inactive, and the career opportunities are limited. The limited personal interactions that do occur, do not help build social skills. In addition the skills that are built, moving fingers quickly, understanding complex mythologies, etc. don't translate well to real life.
Peter: Jinxed, you never mentioned how much time that your son spends on video games, because video games are primarily relaxation. Unlike TV or movies however, video games are not completely sedentary relaxation. In fact unlike TV, playing more video games shows no correlation with increased chance for obesity. While chances are that your son won't get a job in video games, chances are if he joins drama, he's not going to become an actor, and joining the football team does not mean he's going to make it in the NFL, but those activities do build useful life skills, but so do video games: skills like like quick reaction times, or problem solving. Even the military is using video games for training. I can't tell if you're overreacting, but the argument you may be missing is that there are very few hobbies that should take up all of your free time, and if that's what happening with your son, maybe he just needs to diversify.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Lust & The Sermon on the Mount
Peter & Molly,
Well I'm not sure what kind of questions you guys are looking for, but here's one that's been on my mind recently. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus said that "whosoever looketh after a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Well, I'm not a bad guy, and I don't think I'm an adulterer, but I am a guy, and sometimes (lots of the time) I lust after women. Will this really be counted against me like adultery? Because if it is, I guess I might as well commit some actual adultery, it would probably be more fun.
Have fun with that,
Jimmy Carter
Peter: Jimmy, you don't have to go commit adultery yet, you're still pretty safe. The point that Christ is making is that we will become what is on our hearts. Notice he didn't say that you will have committed adultery already in your brain, it's not thinking about it that is the problem, it's wanting it more than anything that is the problem.
Molly: Well I agree that you shouldn't make the problem any worse, but let's not pretend like there's not a problem. It sounds like Peter is just trying to make excuses. This kind of reasoning is barely a step above "boys will be boys." Notice Christ didn't say that if you get angry at your brother you're guilty of murder, just that you'd be judged for both, but Christ did say, lusting after a woman was committing adultery.
Peter: No he didn't. He said looking at a woman to lust after her was committing adultery in his heart. Saying that he looked at someone to lust after them, implies a motivation for lust. It does not imply normal healthy sexual thoughts.
Molly: Normal healthy sexual thoughts are not lust, and I think it's important to recognize the difference.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
Well I'm not sure what kind of questions you guys are looking for, but here's one that's been on my mind recently. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus said that "whosoever looketh after a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Well, I'm not a bad guy, and I don't think I'm an adulterer, but I am a guy, and sometimes (lots of the time) I lust after women. Will this really be counted against me like adultery? Because if it is, I guess I might as well commit some actual adultery, it would probably be more fun.
Have fun with that,
Jimmy Carter
Peter: Jimmy, you don't have to go commit adultery yet, you're still pretty safe. The point that Christ is making is that we will become what is on our hearts. Notice he didn't say that you will have committed adultery already in your brain, it's not thinking about it that is the problem, it's wanting it more than anything that is the problem.
Molly: Well I agree that you shouldn't make the problem any worse, but let's not pretend like there's not a problem. It sounds like Peter is just trying to make excuses. This kind of reasoning is barely a step above "boys will be boys." Notice Christ didn't say that if you get angry at your brother you're guilty of murder, just that you'd be judged for both, but Christ did say, lusting after a woman was committing adultery.
Peter: No he didn't. He said looking at a woman to lust after her was committing adultery in his heart. Saying that he looked at someone to lust after them, implies a motivation for lust. It does not imply normal healthy sexual thoughts.
Molly: Normal healthy sexual thoughts are not lust, and I think it's important to recognize the difference.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Should She Babysit in Sacrament?
Peter and Molly,
I love the church and the gospel, and I understand that families are important, but I am middle aged and haven't had one, and at this point, I don't really want one. I am a professional that enjoys adult company, and find I have very little patience for children. I know I should love children, but I don't. The problem is that in my ward there are many families with lots of children. These children can get very noisy, and apparently someone gave a suggestion, apparently in a meeting I wasn't attending, that everyone in the ward would be willing to help out, so if a mom has to go out of the room with a screaming kid, and her husband can't help, there are others who will. Apparently, everyone thinks that this means I'm happy to help. I have tried to decline, but it seems like many of these families feel they are doing me a favor, because I don't get to hang out with children all of the time, otherwise they feel like it's the least I can do. How can I respectfully decline the wonderful blessing of watching other peoples kids.
Thanks,
Nanny Not on Duty
Molly: You must have a very open ward atmosphere if there are several people who feel like they can impose on you in the middle of sacrament meeting without you first volunteering. My honest advice is to try and find a way to enjoy the company of the kids. I'm sure you aren't like me, and actually enjoy every single sacrament talk, but there must occasionally be room for a diversion. If you've tried, however, and you've decided that you really don't want to be other people's free babysitter, a simple, "No thank you, I'm sure they'd be happier in the lobby with you," should do the trick.
Peter: Nanny, I might suggest a more passive approach, simply inform the parents that their children are welcome to sit wherever they like, which is of course accurate, but don't worry about the kids if they begin to climb up to the pulpit, or begin to wail for their parents. I'm sure word will get around quickly, that you aren't to be bothered with children.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
I love the church and the gospel, and I understand that families are important, but I am middle aged and haven't had one, and at this point, I don't really want one. I am a professional that enjoys adult company, and find I have very little patience for children. I know I should love children, but I don't. The problem is that in my ward there are many families with lots of children. These children can get very noisy, and apparently someone gave a suggestion, apparently in a meeting I wasn't attending, that everyone in the ward would be willing to help out, so if a mom has to go out of the room with a screaming kid, and her husband can't help, there are others who will. Apparently, everyone thinks that this means I'm happy to help. I have tried to decline, but it seems like many of these families feel they are doing me a favor, because I don't get to hang out with children all of the time, otherwise they feel like it's the least I can do. How can I respectfully decline the wonderful blessing of watching other peoples kids.
Thanks,
Nanny Not on Duty
Molly: You must have a very open ward atmosphere if there are several people who feel like they can impose on you in the middle of sacrament meeting without you first volunteering. My honest advice is to try and find a way to enjoy the company of the kids. I'm sure you aren't like me, and actually enjoy every single sacrament talk, but there must occasionally be room for a diversion. If you've tried, however, and you've decided that you really don't want to be other people's free babysitter, a simple, "No thank you, I'm sure they'd be happier in the lobby with you," should do the trick.
Peter: Nanny, I might suggest a more passive approach, simply inform the parents that their children are welcome to sit wherever they like, which is of course accurate, but don't worry about the kids if they begin to climb up to the pulpit, or begin to wail for their parents. I'm sure word will get around quickly, that you aren't to be bothered with children.
If you have any questions e-mail us at PeterMollyAdvice@gmail.com or find us on Facebook
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