Should She Leave College to Help at Home?

Dear Peter and Molly,

So, a friend of mine said that she knew some people who were trying to start a Mormon advice blog, and so I thought maybe you could help with my problem. My problem is my parents. I’m just finishing up my first semester at [Name Withheld] (a church school). When I left for school everyone seemed really disappointed that I was leaving, I was the only laurel in my branch back home, and I had already been teaching primary for almost a year when I went to school. I’ve got a scholarship, and I’ve loved being in college, but my parents want me to stay home again. They say they miss me, and they want my help with my little brother (he’s 2) and they say that the church needs me more there than out here. I don’t want to disappoint my family, but I don’t want to stay stuck at home forever either. What should I do?

Small Town Girl

Molly:  Small, it sounds like a simple case of your parents missing you, but there are a couple of things in your letter that make me curious. The first is that your, presumably still married, healthy parents, want the help of their daughter to raise their two year old. And young people leave branches all the time. It sounds to me like your concern has a lot less to do with your parents and branch and more to do with you. Being away for the first time is hard, and if you grew up in a branch (I did) moving into a huge ward at a church school can be intimidating. While it’s important that you get an education, the education doesn’t necessarily have to be away from home, there are plenty of online schools, and community colleges close to where you’re from that may be able to give you a couple of more years close to home before finally having to leave the nest.

Peter: Small Town, leaving the house can be a tough time in anyone’s life, and you don’t want to make it any more difficult than it needs to be. That being said, it would be a huge mistake for you to leave college for good. What you need to do is to convince your parents how much college is going to bless their lives, and the lives of those in your branch, and your life too. College is more than anything an investment, you may be gone for a while but you're going to come back much better able to serve.

Molly: Peter, her life is way more than an investment equation! The other thing Peter gets wrong is that every small town girl who goes to the big college goes back to the small town. There’s a good chance that you’re going to meet Mr. big city, and he’ll sweep you off your feet, and you’ll never live in your branch or at home again. I’m not saying that is necessarily a bad thing, but you have to be in tune with with the Holy Ghost who often communicates in simple feelings, and if you just don't feel right about staying in school, maybe it's something you should pay attention to. 

Peter: Even if Molly is right, and you do secretly want to go back home. I think that her advice is to give into those fears. College is about so much more than the classes, and when you don’t ever take a chance and venture away, you can’t ever fully appreciate that.

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