Neighbor Kid Scratched Up Her Table

+February Wedding Letters
Dear Peter and Molly,
When my husband and I were first married his parents gave us a beautiful dining room table as a gift. We have taken good care of it, for the last ten years. Last week, our son had a friend over "Jerry", he is 8 years old. Our son is pretty low key, and so I don't usually hover over him when he's playing. After the friend had left, and I was about to set dinner on the table I saw two dinner knives and our table scratched excessively, and several stick figure people on the table. I asked my son (he's our only child) about what happened, and he said that Jerry had thought it would be fun to do some wood carving. I asked my son why he didn't stop him, and he said that Jerry was sure that it would be okay. I called Jerry's mother, and told her what happened, but Jerry said that it was my son's idea! I'm not sure what to believe or what I can do. It's not like I can go without a dining room table, and it would be terribly expensive to replace. Should I expect Jerry's parents to cover the expense?

Sincerely,
Cave Man Carvings

Molly: Carvings, I understand how frustrated you must be that your beautiful table has been defaced. A table, though, just isn't worth ruining a relationship over. Would it have been better if the culprit just admitted it, probably, but we don't know who's telling the truth. Buy a beautiful tablecloth and make it a regular fixture on your table, no one will know the difference.

Peter: Difficult situations don't have to be friendship ending situations. Call Jerry's mom back, and say that you want to get the boys back together to figure out what happened. Have her there too, so she's not worried you're interrogating her son. Wait for them to get their stories straight, and then have the boys develop a plan for how they can pay you back for the table. And don't make them pay for the whole table, you can get the table sanded and refinished for much cheaper than buying a whole new table. It may even be a fun project if one of the boy's dad is enjoys carpentry for them to work on.

Molly: The problem with Peter's solution is that if Jerry is much more domineering than your son, which it sounds like he is, then magically they'll arrive at what Jerry thinks is the truth, you can't let your son be bullied into accepting responsibility, just let the issue slide, and don't let Jerry into your kitchen unsupervised.

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