Tuesday, February 5, 2013

How Can She Get Him to Propose?

Peter and Molly,
I'm going to school up at BYU-I. The marriage capital of Mormonism, I'm convinced. The funny thing is that while everyone wants to get married it also seems like all the boys are too scared to make it happen. I met this boy in September, we were in the same FHE group. I immediately liked him because I thought he was cute and fun, and since I'm a little bit (okay a lot) flirtatious I got him to ask me out. Well we decided to be bf/gf and now we've been dating for almost three months, and so I'm ready to move to the next step. My roommates kept asking me all semester if he was the one, and it's not like I rushed into it. The semester is about to end, and we'd be apart for like 2 months. I want him to propose. We've talked about it and I've said that I thought it was a good idea. He says things occasionally like "our kids" "would you rather take a trip to here or there" and things like that. Should I do a long distance thing while school's out, or break up with him, or is there something I can do to get him to finally propose?

Sincerely,
Hoping and Praying

Peter: Marriage is a big deal. A big big big deal. I'm not saying that you aren't destined to be together (though you're not) I'm not saying that his and your eternal happiness ride on this decision (though it does) I'm just saying maybe he can't make huge life changing decisions based on the school calendar. Give him a little space.

Molly: I guess I'm just not as forgiving as Peter. There is virtually no way that you can get to know someone well enough to decide if they are your eternal partner based on three months. Even if you spent the entire three months thinking about your relationship rationally, and asking the big important questions, three months is an awfully short time to see someone's character thoroughly enough to know if you're compatible. Normally I'm not in favor of a long distance relationship, but two months isn't a relationship it's a vacation. See a different side of him, calm down if he's that important to you there is no way you can't survive a summer break, especially BYU-I's super short one.

Peter: Let's give Hoping a little bit of a break. Unlike the world that wants to delay marriage as much as possible, marriage is important, and you can never learn everything about someone at some point you simply need to make a decision and have some faith.

Molly: I think it is exceptionally odd that the world who thinks marriage is nothing more than a worldly contract wants to wait years before making the decision to enter one, while we who understand the eternal importance of marriage are willing to let someone make the decision after just a couple of months.

Peter: Hoping, to answer your question, there is no way to make a man propose to you, but what you can do is get him thinking about marriage, start talking about things in terms of family, talk about your parents marriage, and how you grew up, and ask him similar questions. Marriage is simply starting a new family, so seeing yourself within the framework of families is a great way to go.

Molly: Hoping, I am hoping that you don't use Peter's advice to get your boyfriend to propose before you or he is ready.

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